TRANSCRIPT Episode 9: Eclipse

EXT. STATION ENTRANCE - DAY (ALWAYS DAY)

Matthew opens up the front of the Station. Wind lightly howling.

Welcome home, Deviator.

INTRO MUSIC

CREDITS

Station Blue

Episode 9

Eclipse

INT. DORM - DAY (ALWAYS DAY)

Matthew is going through books. He picks one up, sits down, opens it and begins reading.

LEADS

"Will tugged at his mothers hand and said "Come on, come on."

LEADS

"But his mother hung back. She was still afraid."

LEADS

How many times have I read this book.

LEADS

I don't usually get attached to objects but this one is full of memories.

LEADS

It breathes. When I hold this book I can see clear Alaskan waters. The Tetons, Montana motel rooms, red Utah deserts.

LEADS

I bent the front cover on accident my second week away when I was trying to sleep in my car. I spilled coffee on the edges at my first farm.

LEADS

This is the only thing from my old life that I still have.

LEADS

The only thing full of memories.

LEADS

It's supposed to take 27 days to completely replace your skin. I'm touching this book with new hands. Different hands.

LEADS

Which means there's not a skincell on my body that wasn't born here. This Station is full of an entire layer of me.

Matthew takes out the note.

LEADS

"Dear Matthew.

LEADS

This quote always makes me think of you.

LEADS

"He dared do what men and women don't even dare to think. And look what he's done already: he's torn open the sky, he's opened the way to another world. Who else has ever done that? Who else could think of it?" -The Subtle Knife

LEADS

Find what you're looking for out there. Then come back to me.

LEADS

I love you.

LEADS

Sarah."

LEADS

I was always a drive away. It was always within my power to drop what ever I was doing and go to her.

LEADS

But there was this... barrier.

LEADS

Like even if I went back to her we would be in different worlds. Lyra and Will sitting on their bench.

LEADS

Going back felt like defeat. Like willingly walking through the gates of hell. Admitting that I deserved all of my despair.

LEADS

I've been running forward ever since. Often times without looking.

LEADS

New scene, new job, new people. New ceilings every time I woke up, a new view looking out the window.

LEADS

Chasing a shadow. A carrot on a stick.

LEADS

Avoiding the familiar because the familiar was laced with pain.

LEADS

And now I would kill to get back there. I would walk if I could.

Pause. He closes the book. Breathes.

LEADS

I don't want to run anymore.

LEADS

I want Sarah. I don't know if she would take me back but I want to try.

LEADS

I want to see Colorado again. The way I used to see it in High School. The way I saw it when my Grandparents were alive.

LEADS

I want to see living things again. Trees. Animals. Hell, bugs.

Fingering the note.

LEADS

"Find what you're looking for. Then come back to me."

LEADS

It always seemed impossible. It doesn't anymore.

LEADS

I'm going to do it.

LEADS

I'm going to see Sarah again.

LEADS

She invited me to Thanksgiving. That's next month. I'm not going to let her down again, I'm going to be at Thanksgiving. We're going to stuff ourselves until we can barely move and then we’re gonna collapse on the bench out back with moose pie.

LEADS

We're going to watch the sun set and the moon rise. We're going to talk and watch movies and eat leftovers at midnight.

VOICE OVER

(What about the scientists...)

LEADS

When the scientists show up I'm going to tell them that I quit. I'm going to fly back on the plane that drops them off.

VOICE OVER

(What about Mcmurdo?)

LEADS

I'm going to talk to Beanie at McMurdo.

VOICE OVER

(The Passport...)

LEADS

I'll find my passport. And if I can't find it I'll get myself deported. I don't want to come back here.

VOICE OVER

(The car...)

LEADS

I hid my car, I threw my keys into the ocean, but that's fine. I don't need a car. Or stuff. I can hitchhike. I've done it before.

VOICE OVER

(You're going to make a home)

LEADS

I'm going to make a home.

VOICE OVER

(Go home)

LEADS

I'm going home.

TRANSITION

INT. ???

Typing.

TRANSITION

INT. STATION ENTRANCE - DAY (ALWAYS DAY)

LEADS

Step One of getting the hell off of Antarctica. The bug out bag!

LEADS

When the plane comes I don't want to be caught with my stuff all over the Station. Whatever can go wrong will go wrong and I don't want to risk the pilots taking off without me to meet some weather window.

LEADS

The bug out bag is getting stashed in the entry closet with all of the travel essentials. I even found an extra Big Red that's going with it on the off chance that I need a dry coat.

LEADS

Step Two is emptying my dorm and sealing the door off. Sealing off all of the rooms I won't be using, especially on the first floor.

LEADS

I really believe that I'm alone here but I'm just going to be a lot happier not having to worry about something coming out of one of the doors.

LEADS

I'm tired of this darkness. I'm taking everything I need to live daily life up to the third floor. There's sunlight up there. The camera room will tell me everything I need to know about The Station and the balcony will give me a full view of the surrounding areas. Less for my imagination to play with.

LEADS

I should be in pretty good shape if I only head downstairs every two or three days. I'll be able to go on runs out on the ice for exercise. Shower after and restock on food from the kitchen.

LEADS

It sucks how dark the hallway is even with all the extra lights but it's the best I can do.

LEADS

I made a makeshift calendar. If I've got this right I have... Between 10 and 12 days until they show up.

LEADS

On day 9 I'll tear down the Christmas lights, get rid of all the tape on the elevator, untie the doors. Put all of the tables and chairs back. Try to get this place looking somewhat normal.

VOICE OVER

(Leave it...)

LEADS

Or maybe I should leave it up. It might freak them out enough to guarantee me a quick trip home. We'll see.

TRANSITION

INT. REC ROOM DAY ALWAYS DAY

LEADS

Aww Rin!

LEADS

I haven't seen this in a week!

LEADS

I wonder if I could sneak this home. It's the closest thing I've had to a friend here not including that mummy outside. I bet Sarah would love flipping through Rins thoughts.

LEADS

There's a little sketch here... A really cool sketch. It's labeled "True Shape."

LEADS

There's this stone, this multifaceted crystal.

LEADS

And inside of it, in red ink is this person. And there's a hammer and chisel on the side.

LEADS

It reminds me of True Names. In old stories and fantasy books things had a True Name. Knowing a True Name means you know the thing as well as a thing can be known, it gives you power over it.

LEADS

I used to have this theory when I was younger that my True Name was a little messed up. Maybe one of the letters was scribbled over, some edges were erased. Or one of the syllables were unpronounceable by the common mouth.

LEADS

I had this dream. The first thing I'd wish for if I ever had a genie. That someone or something would come and speak my True Name in full, fixing any error in the process. I'd become what I was always intended to become. I think I'd trade a limb for it.

LEADS

I'd really love to talk to Rin. They could be on the team coming here, it'd be worth staying a bit just to pick their brain.

LEADS

But these writings don't really seem like a scientists workings. It's all very abstract and metaphorical, no indication of working on anything specific in Antarctica. I'd say it could have been written somewhere else entirely if it wasn’t for some of these sketches. It’s got landmarks of the area.

LEADS

They're all mapped out... I didn't make the connection at first but here's the garage where I was sleeping... One of the peaks along the way...

LEADS

Little egg sketches by a cave... Penguin maybe? These could just be from McMurdo, I don't think penguins could survive around here.

LEADS

I'm going to start exploring these on my runs. It'll give me something productive to focus on while I wait. Help expand my scope.

TRANSITION

INT. ???

TRANSITION

INT. HALLWAYS - DAY (ALWAYS DAY)

LEADS

Goodbye dorm.

Matthew rattles the door and drags a bag.

LEADS

I've been thinking. About fear.

LEADS

When you're a kid the more you avoid something the scarier it gets.

LEADS

Things that used to be terrifying are a joke now. Movies that can be pure nightmare fuel when you're watching through the cracks in your fingers can be hilarious if you meet them full on.

LEADS

I'm an adult.

LEADS

I'm not afraid of the dark. Or the gap under the bed. Or closets.

LEADS

I shouldn't be afraid of A DOOR.

The closer he gets, the more of a high pitched noise grows. Matthew breathes in and out, deep breaths, at first clear and spaced, then more and more rapid. As the breathing increases so does the Door Noise.

LEADS

You win. You win.

LEADS

Gotta get the hell out of-

TRANSITION

EXT. BALCONY - DAY (ALWAYS DAY)

LEADS

"TurnTurn", -Rin

LEADS

When two cogs fit together as naturally as mountain and earth it is difficult to remember the clock.

LEADS

We took all our pleasure in each other, the interlinking rotation of our teeth and the worlds we moved as a dual unit without seeing the machine that we enabled.

LEADS

We were created for the machine. Without the machine we would be nothing. And yet you are what made me something.

LEADS

Am I grateful to the power that brought us together? Do I curse the power for letting me know the loss of you?

LEADS

I will worship and serve God with mourning blood dripping down my lip.

LEADS

And in contemplating I turn and turn and hope that the great machine brings us back together."

LEADS

Everyones lost someone.

LEADS

Nostalgia. I hate nostalgia. Antarctica just drags it out of you. It's in the air. Crisp, untouched, dry. In the landscape, jagged and abused. Sanitized. In the sky, the ever present sun circling and watching...

LEADS

There's a star up there. I never noticed. Just above.

He gets up.

LEADS

Or it could be a planet. There aren't any other stars showing and this one is pretty bright for daylight.

LEADS

But I'll be real, I know nothing about astronomy. Always liked the idea of it when I was younger. Figured it was something I'd learn eventually.

LEADS

But I didn't have the math requirements to take it in college.

LEADS

Didn't even know there was math involved, I thought it'd just be a lot of memorization and shape recognition.

LEADS

Might be something in here about planets. Rin seems like someone who would know about astronomy.

TRANSITION

INT. ???

TRANSITION

EXT. OUTSIDE DAY ALWAYS DAY

Matthew is walking, mildly out of breath

LEADS

I'm tired of moving stuff. I'm treating myself to an adventure.

LEADS

This egg mystery has been scratching at the back of my head all day. If there are penguins around here I'm going to find them. And I'm going to laugh at them.

LEADS

If they are around they should be by this...I want to say cave? I'm pretty sure it's a cave scribbled in the journal. The shape of the rock formation matches one on the other side of the ice field and the drawing has a dark blotch around its base.

LEADS

And now I have this handy star to guide... ice crack, this star, planet, whatever to guide me.

LEADS

I should have been hiking from the beginning. I love hiking. Today was made for hiking. It was made for me.

TRANSITION

LEADS

You know, I don't think this has all been for nothing. I think I'm different. Like I've grown somehow. Changed.

LEADS

Like unnecessary pieces of me have been carved away.

LEADS

Literally in some ways. I've lost weight. My body has gone feral. My bones are sticking out of my skin.

LEADS

But beyond that parts of my mind, my everyday habits, my thought loops have been worn down, leaving nothing but the necessary.

LEADS

I think I've become more efficient. More in line with the human animal.

LEADS

Like... I don't know if it's that I'm more focused or less distracted, but my brain isn't as cluttered. I feel like I can see more clearly.

LEADS

Minimalism has always been my main dogma but right now I think I am minimal.

Beat

LEADS

My time here has been unpleasant. And lonely. Beaurocratic, and honestly frightening. I still haven't done any writing, haven't answered any of the big questions I was planning on pondering.

LEADS

No conscious enlightenment.

LEADS

But here I am. I survived it. I've encountered trials and I’ve come out on the other end.

LEADS

Maybe enlightenment isn't something you think your way to. Maybe it happens on accident.

TRANSITION

EXT. BY THE CAVE - DAY (ALWAYS DAY)

LEADS

Getting close...

LEADS

I know I was supposed to be here all summer but they'll understand. It's a job. You have to be able to quit a job. The person before me dropped out and they found me to replace them, I'm sure they have a few replacements in the wings.

LEADS

I feel good about this. Knowing whats ahead.

LEADS

It feels good. Looking ahead.

LEADS

I feel good about this. Looking ahead.

LEADS

It feels... it feels... it feels...

LEADS

Cave mouth! Here we are...

LEADS

Rock piles... I'm pretty sure penguins make their nests with rocks but...

LEADS

I'm not seeing any penguins. And these piles are a little big.

LEADS

No eggs. No droppings-

Rummaging

LEADS

Hold up. Got something...

LEADS

Feathers... White feathers.

LEADS

Feathers covered in rocks...

LEADS

Are all of these...

LEADS

Yeah.

LEADS

Yeah, I'm confused.

LEADS

Some kind of migratory bird maybe? I know albatross's travel pretty far, they're big enough for these feathers...

LEADS

But why...?

Wind picks up

LEADS

Woohoohoo, that’s cold!

VOICE OVER

Finally.

LEADS

What... what happened?

LEADS

An eclipse? That's not right, there's no moon...

VOICE OVER

No moon.

LEADS

What is... What the hell is that? That can't be a

VOICE OVER

Oh yes.

LEADS

A cross? Crosses don’t fly like that, they don’t float, they don’t...

VOICE OVER

Closer.

LEADS

The star?

VOICE OVER

That's no star.

LEADS

That's... That's not.. That's not how that works

VOICE OVER

It is.

LEADS

It's... It's gotta be a helicopter or a b-

VOICE OVER

Body?

LEADS

Body.

VOICE OVER

You tried to escape our path Deviator.

LEADS

I just need to sleep...

VOICE OVER

I wish it didn’t have to be this way but... You tried to leave me.

LEADS

I just need sleep just get back and get some sleep... bad things happen when you don’t sleep!

VOICE OVER

You need to run. You need to come back to me. The sun has gone out. The temperature is dropping.

Matthew is running now, zipping up his jacket

Everything is connected. We are connected.

LEADS

Oh god

There is no breaking from this. This was foretold.

Restitution is required.

There is an order to be kept. Everything in its right place.

The vein on the leaf. The leaf on the branch. The branch on the tree.

The tree in the woods. The woods on the hill. The hill on the world.

You will not knock our world from orbit. You will not save yourself. You will not save me.

You tried to stray. Escape is pointless. You walk a closed path.

You are the architect of your own ruin.

LEADS

Damnit. Come on. Come on. Come on GAH-

Matthew falls in an ice crevice.

Ah. It sees you. It descends.

The vein on the leaf. The leaf on the branch. The branch on the tree. The tree in the woods.

You must free yourself Deviator. Free yourself from the crevice. Free yourself and come to me.

Matthew screams. A bone snaps.

A noble sacrifice. Through pain we know ourselves.

You anoint the ice with the blood from your leg as you anointed The Station with the blood from your finger.

Look up Deviator. There are stars in the clouds, can you see them?

Look up Deviator. It is no guardian angel that blocks the sun.

Look to the skies Deviator. They see you but they will not help.

Look at them. You stone. You wretched child, you puppet!

Crawl! Crawl into the gaping maw, crawl into the Teratoma. Crawl into the heart of the third eye!

Siren.

Lay prorate Isaac. Be bound as a sacrifice of the obedient. Be bound rebel Isaac and suffer the knife of the Zealot!

There is no sacrificial lamb to replace you! The star is no angel messenger here to stay Abrahams dagger!

You will not abort me! Transgress not the visions of the dreamer!

Look up! Look up! Look up into the stars and rejoin me!

Rejoin me! Rejoin me! Rejoin me you parody and never deviate again!

OUTRO MUSIC - FRIGID WIND

We would like to thank Prize Box Productions for their support. If you’re interested in video production services such as wedding, videographers, commercials, or music videos please visit prizeboxproductions.com

This episode of Station Blue was written and directed by Chad Ellis and produced by Gretchen Schrieber, Kesenia Zinkevich, and Wes Jordan Frisby.

The cover art was created by Kessi Riliniki.

Our intro and exit music, Frigid Wind, was composed by Sage GC.

Matthew Leads was voiced by Chad Ellis.

You can follow the show on Twitter and Instagram @StationBluePod and email us at stationbluepodcast@gmail.com

Transcripts are available on our website, stationbluepodcast.com

Want to support the show? We have a Patreon! For a small monthly donation you can get cool bonuses like behind the scenes episodes and monthly livestreams.

Strapped for cash? Downloading three episodes of Station Blue on Radiopublic gets the show a whole dollar, and leaving a 5 star review on iTunes helps us with visibility.

While you wait for the next episode we recommend listening to What’s the Frequency. A mind breaking psychedelic noir audio drama.

The year is 1940. The place is Los Angeles. The story is unexplainable and the journey is riveting. Sanity not required.

That’s all for tonight!

My name is Kristen McLaughlin, and as always,

I will haunt you.